I am not a huffer.

Today, I was carded for a spray paint purchase at the local depot of home improvement. (My neighborhood store was out of the colors needed.) I mean come on, do I look like a huffer? Or just a homeowner with another deviant interpretation of home repair?

Perhaps as the youth of today are surrounded by friends and family under the care of prescription drugs, huffing is avant garde escapism.

A can of flat black and a can of satin red placed upon the counter. A red flag for the tagging secret police. Is Banksy in Penfield? Could it be him? What an honor.

Nah, just a new clerk doing their job. Corporate America protecting me from the ills of Krylon. And free of charge nonetheless. Gee thanks, guys.

Anyway, everybody knows that gold paint is best. Right?