Rochester, NY 02/29/08

Scratching the Archives for Itchy

Buckle up Hippies!!

Henry Rollins is coming to Rochester.

From a Mother Jones interview regarding his USO tour:

MJ: Have these experiences changed the way you think about the war at all, having met so many people one on one, face to face?

HR: No. [The war] was a bad idea. It never was a good idea. It's an illegal war. We're not there for the purposes that George W. Bush says. He has a perfect situation there because if you leave it now, you leave these people who did not ask for your incursion; you leave these people in worse shape than when you got there.

snip

A guy who shot and killed a child mistakenly, he writes me and asks me to give him good reason why he shouldn't kill himself. These are the letters I get, and I get them pretty often. So this thing is a very personal experience for me. It's more than just something I see on the news.

So tighten up those Birkenstocks or better yet borrow a pair of Doc Martens and come down to the Harro East this Tuesday.

UPDATE: Frantic Frank over at City Newspaper has a nice interview with Henry.

See you there.

Breaking NEWS! This just in.

Time to hate

There is something just sick going on in our country, something called "hate." Gays and lesbians are discriminated against, minorities, women, the disabled, the elderly, foreigners. The list goes on and on. How do people even have time to hate so much?

If ever there was an argument for sending everyone to college this would be it: you'd be so busy with your career and opportunities in life you wouldn't have the need or the time to hate. You'd also be exposed to a more diverse population which would aid in creating a sense of experience and empathy with those who are different from you.

I think hatred stems from feeling threatened. If you are secure you are more open-minded and less focused on tearing down those around you. It is no coincidence that some of the most disturbing hate crimes come from our more impoverished areas, inner cities and rural areas.

I don't think that familiarity is what brings contempt here. Instead, I think the lack of familiarity is the cause of so much of this hatred. It is easy to hate that which we really don't know, to dehumanize the object in order to prop ourselves up.

Our own president speaks of world leaders as "evil" and thinks of the world in black and white, no room for other perspectives. Thinking in absolutes make you certain, certain to hate, certain to be hated.

It's also interesting to note that our president says he doesn't read much. That would take up too much time, time he's apparently filling with hate.

Trolling the Monkey Archives, D.C. 1993

Out in the open

A Great Wolf in sheep's clothing

Subtitled: Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death

At the tail end of our Canadian excursion we decided to make a stop for the kid's, in Niagara Falls, ON, at an indoor water park. A seemingly potential petri dish of fun and excitement with an unexpected side order of scary. Now this type of entertainment may be common but it was new to me. Upon check in we were given wrist bands similar to what you may see at Seabreeze and the like. We were told to take great care in there installation, not to tight not to loose, but just right, as once there were on they could only be removed by cutting them off. In fact these weren't the Tyvek type bands but the kind you may see in a hospital with holes and pins and locking mechanisms.

At this point were were instructed as to the proper use of these bands. Huh?

I knew then what they were. I flipped the band over to see what I knew was going to be there. An RFID chip.These bands defined us. They were us.

Here I was, thrust into a social experiment, when my mind was gratefully elsewhere after a week of banging around a Canadian metropolis. (Side note: Very little TV watched, not a single pharmaceutical ad to be seen.) I embraced the task of analysis of my demeanor and observed my children's actions under the watchful eye of the band.

Our submission granted us access to shelter, food, entertainment, goods and services. Without it we are unable to participate in this micro society. The bands were linked to the credit card used to book the reservation. If I had booked with a debit card funds could be frozen for up to a month as stated in the Terms of Service. Cash, and the glory of its anonymity, is a no no.

Hold your wrist to the door, gain access to the building or room. Hold your wrist to a locker, gain access to you possessions. Extend your wrist to the cashier, gain access to food, goods and services. You need nothing but submission to function in this community.

An Ontario Science Centre exhibit in Toronto, A Question of Truth, loomed in the back of my head during our stay in this real world exercise.

I was constantly aware of my new found identity and had chosen to wear it chip side out instead of displaying the happy logo of the establishment. The mission statement of the establishment has lurking sinister undertones: Create Family Traditions One Family at a Time.

Consider this a venting, more to come when I digest this a bit more.

What shooting down the spy satellite was really about

Phallic symbols proliferate our military arsenal: missiles, submarines, rockets, fighter jets, fuel tanks. It's all very manly, isn't it? I couldn't help thinking that our military's recent shooting of the spy satellite was just an exercise in respecting the cock. In case you don't know what I mean, here ya go:

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE. USE THEM TOGETHER. USE THEM IN PEACE.

As the lunar eclipse darkens the evening skies the Government will attempt to shoot down a rogue satellite on the same day John Glenn became the first to orbit the Earth many moons ago.

A fitting tribute the self splattered genius, Dr.Gonzo.

The conspiracy theorist in me is reminded of the sci-fi exchange:

You see, something's going to happen. You must leave.

What? What's going to happen?

Something wonderful.

What?

I understand how you feel. You see, it's all very clear to me now. The whole thing. It's wonderful.

Good morning, Dr.

Another ugly American...

Tales of an ugly American in Canada

At least I think he was an American. You see, I stepped out of my swanky marbled hotel lobby, onto the corner of King and Yonge and was approached by a young woman emerging from the subway asking for the time. Very pleasant at the time. She was tiny with wild curls coming from out from under a knit hat in the misty morning on the North Shore.

On the corner was man, large in stature with really bad cowboy boots, speaking rather loudly but not yelling about Ronald Reagan and George Bush's principles theoretical place in contemporary Canadian government. The tiny woman with big balls approached him immediately and confronted him with a response I couldn't quite hear as her messenger bag was now facing me, the other American. I think.

Whatever her comment was it enraged the man in the bad boots. The voice went up with some choice words to her, the tiny one. My interest was now fixated on this public exchange. The tiny one without hesitation reached and found a water bottle in her bag and threw it at the ugly American, as though her national pastime was baseball, and hit him square in the chest at the instant the word fascist finished passing her lips.

Silence. At least in a theatrical sense loomed over the corner. Just for a moment.

Stunned, he turned and walked away into the figurative sunset, head literally lowered, as a dull applause began from the peanut gallery.

Poetry in action, eh?

More Lincoln than God

Wasn't it John Lennon that said The Beatles were more famous than God? Maybe I'm confusing my quotes or my sources but here's one directly from the latest issue of Newsweek:

"There are now upward of 15,000 books about Lincoln, more than about any other person except Jesus (though there are more about Lincoln than about God, reckons Baker)."

The article goes on to say that Lincoln has surpassed George Washington as our most revered president. New research, from archaeological digs in Illinois to garage sale finds all over, have continued to reveal the true Lincoln, the true reach of his influence.

Just a little mixing of politics and religion to start your Saturday morning...

In poor taste...

No no no... not Jane's C-Bomb again. CNN's ad placement of an online University as the backdrop of the NIU shooting.
Brilliant marketing or keyword generated placement?

The Official STOMP Review

THUMP whooosh THUMPITY clank bing blap.

See you next Tuesday.

COARSENING CULTURE ALERT!!!

Jane Fonda slips and says cunt on the Today show. Apologies followed.

Lighten up, cocksuckers.

The Paper of Record for the Town of Brighton

I just got off the phone with a lovely woman from The Brighton-Pittsford Post. She was asking for my renewal subscription at the the cost of 19 cents per copy.

What? I remember when stamps were only 19 cents. And now I can continue to have the BPP delivered to my mailbox for less than two thin dimes? I fell asleep on the couch last night and had exactly two dimes, which exited my deep pockets, stuck to my ass. What a fucking deal. This week is already paid for in full. And given the exercise I get when I take the recycling bin to the street how can I go wrong?

Oh my, what to do?

I've wondered why the Town continues to use this publication as its Paper of Record given the distribution is so small that it barely covers small fraction of the households in Brighton. At my last inquiry, my zip code had a grand total of 361 subscriptions. I suppose a fairly regular column by Supervisor Frankel is a good avenue of communication, however, the paper has greater readership in Honeoye Falls than in Brighton itself. And if its a dollar and cents thing, I can understand that, as my understanding is that there are no requirements for the publication of Legal Notices other than simply publishing in a "real" newspaper. Maybe, just maybe the Supervisor's column is predicated upon a contractual agreement to establish BPP as the Paper of Record. Or maybe it's just tradition.

Me thinks they need to pump up circulation figures to stroke potential advertisers.

You thinks I'm right.

Bogarting The God

I think presidential contender Mike Huckabee's got some explaining to do...

Recently Huckabee said on national television "I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles."

Excuse me? Got Christ Complex? Last time I checked that field is the supreme domain of the chosen one, AKA "Jesus," for those of you who believe.

If I was John McCain I'd be pretty pissed that Huckabee is bogarting the God. As an American citizen, I'm pretty scared. It's one thing to claim you're a true conservative or even the true Christian evangelical in this race, but it's quite another to imply you are the candidate with unique access to the deity (or in this case, assuming deity-like traits).

What an ego, what a scary guy.

Apathy plagues a monkey

And here I thought Parties were fun. With balloons and signs, good wishes and smiles, unicorns and rainbows.

Sucker.

Pick Your Poison

The Presidential primaries left many voters feeling as if they had to choose from the lesser of two (or three or even four) evils. The Democrats think they have the "Dream Ticket" in Obama and Clinton but the differences in the two platforms really leaves little variety. Now that Edwards has dropped out of the race we will hear less and less about the plight of the country's poor in any meaningful way. Sure there will be obligatory soundbytes and photo ops (perception is reality, after all) but the meaning behind the mantra will be hollowed out. Hollowed out is a feeling you should get used to.

The Republicans have the choice of an aging, tempermental McCain, a flip-flopper Romney (who reminds many voters of a used car salesman), an evangelical soft-spoken Huckabee, and Ron Paul. Who can get excited?

The more I think about it the more this election season feels like "Pick Your Poison." Either way, you're gonna get sick.

A lovely Sunday with Big Black.

Just so you know...

...you can tell the age of some Wegmans cookies by the color of their sprinkles.

...my interim school Superintendent addressed the impact of the FAIR plan and mentioned the district's pursuit to cut costs as a result. The mailer was a 4-color gloss stock waste of funds.

...a good friend is leaving for a climb to Mt. Kilimanjaro to raise funds for orphans of AIDS in Africa.

...my new assessment for my house leads me to believe I'd have to blow any realtor that could sell it for that price.

...Wegmans sells counterfeit Aveda products.

...I recently spent $4.60 in postage in order to receive an Estate tax refund of $2.54 from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

...my wife has recently been interviewed by a national magazine.

...it's hard to believe its been three years since lecturing at Williams College.

...the deadline is approaching for the Pulitzer. Will Yurman is my pick.

...Ron Reagan Jr. is an atheist.

...my oldest son, the long haired slacker, was voted Citizen of the Month at his school by the faculty. Looks can be deceiving.

...I'm curious as to the quantity of silver I absorbed over my years in photography.

...there are a bunch of Obama signs in my neighborhood.

...my brother-in-law has a "federal government job" and lives in a million dollar home. You're welcome bro.

...I had a purchase at a fast food joint that totaled $6.66. The cashier was visibly troubled. I painstakingly made the effort to gather the exact amount.

... on this day, Ayn Rand was born in 1905 and Sid Vicious OD'ed in 1979.

...you can send a text message to Google instead of dialing 411 for a phone number.

...last week I displayed rochesterturning's website on all the computers at the Apple store.

...the DoD has confirmed 4941 U.S. deaths in Iraq.

...I thanked a veteran today.

...my neighborhood pizzeria's "famous" caesar dressing is bottled Italian.

...a tattoo more visible than the data on my wrist band served as identification before surgery in a local hospital.

...Billy Bragg will be in Manhattan in March.

One of my favorite songs covered by one of my favorite voices.